Mythology is rich with allusion to the bond men and women share. Many cultures have myths depicting an initial male/female pairing which produced mankind. In others, such as some Hindu myths, man and woman are initially one entity, not so much human as an essence, which eventually splits in two—those two halves wind up in a life long search for one another to attain the completeness they once shared.
Ever had that feeling after seeing, or just being in a persons presence, that there is something deeper that resonates more than you could possibly describe? A yin to your yang? Moon to your sky?
Greek mythology tells us of Orpheus, a man who so loved his wife that he traveled into the underworld to petition Hades, god of the underworld, for the release of her soul. Orpheus, perhaps the best lyre player in the Greek pantheon, was said to have learned his skill for playing the lyre from Apollo. It is told that as he played for Hades the normally immovable god was moved to tears. So enchanted was he that Orpheus was granted his wife’s release, but only upon one condition: he could not look back to see if she was following until they had completely exited. Orpheus, during the arduous trek back to the entrance, had plenty of time to convince himself that Hades was tricking him. He kept his eyes forward until almost the very moment he reached the exit, but having not heard or received any sort of sign his beloved was behind him he turned to look behind, only to see his love be dragged back into the underworld forever.
We’ve all felt that at some point, right? That tragic heartbreak. Each of us, at some level, knows that gut wrenching feeling that feeds on an almost never ending series of questions and self-doubt—What if I would have not said a word? What if I had remained calm? Why didn’t I act differently? Orpheus’ loss is perhaps a direct metaphor for our own regrets.
Carl Jung believed that later in life, once we are past young adulthood, we spend the remainder of our lives trying to understand, to get in touch with, our unconscious, that we make choices based upon this drive to become more familiar with a part of us we know little about. Is that place where our better halves reside? Why do they seem so utterly elusive?
A fascinating correlation, and certainly not anything resembling an answer—this very connection Jung attributes to the inner part of one’s personality is known as the animas for men, the animus for women. It is possibly the deepest part of us, the very core of what we strive to understand and connect with; for men, our feminine side, our animas; for women, their masculine side, their animus. Perhaps this very concept is why an individual so deeply resonates with us. Perhaps they are most closely connected to our core than others.
The question then seems to be: Are they—our soul mate, if you will—impossible to find? Should we simply settle for something good instead of great?
Or are they—as I believe—simply within reach and waiting for our touch, and we for theirs.
Contemporary romanticism or fallacious mythology?
Hmm, I’ve seen these J.W. musings somewhere before…
I have either turned into a cynic or a very matured, all knowing woman or someone who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
I vividly recall saying to myself in high school (in Hawaii), “What if my soul mate is somewhere in Africa?” He may still be there with all my soul mates all over the world.
I think there are many soul mates with our names on them and they are not to be captured in the same household because the outward business of daily living buries the soul mate part of it all. The soul mates connect at one level and that connection exists for what it is.
A person comes to any relationship with the culture of his/her family, environment, cultural heritage, and the basic nature of who they are. To co-exist with another person who grew up in another household, takes all the energy, time and smarts one can handle.
A soul mate exists beneath all that or above all that. So connect without thinking all the rules society has set up in relationships.
Now, return to that first sentence I wrote.
In my support group for caregivers today, the subject of soul mates came up.
The women are devoted, loyal and strong caregivers for their husbands and mothers who are in different stages of dementia. Many caregivers put their lives or the persons that they are, on hold during caregiving.
There was agreement that our soul mates may not be found in our spouses…these soul mates come in difference gender and ages…
they are that bright star in the dark skies, that pause that gives us joy in our busy lives…they are those men and women who cross our paths in supermarkets, in coffee houses, or in the most unexpected places. They are not seen as potential sexual or marital partners…just that piece of poetry that we savor in the secret parts of our hearts to keep the poetry alive in us.
It was a discussion we needed to have during the holiday season when CHristmas is also put on hold in the caregiving world.
Well I love mythology and it’s sayings . There is a whole lot of mystery involved about the origin of man and woman , different religious have different explanations for it. Mythology is interesting at times.
Are you unconventional? Or do you always blend into a crowd?
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