I can forego people not using their turn signal when sitting inside a marked left turn lane—I mean, their intentions are obvious, right? And as irritiating as it is, I can let pass people who won’t shut up at a ball game. You know the type, probably the same ones who talk through a movie. But at a ballgame, talking with the people you come with is to be expected. But for Christ’s sake, take a friggin’ breath!
What I’m about to complain about may remove me from a Christmas card list or two, but it must be said.
There are lots of little things in life we find annoying but willing to let slide, but some things are just flat out rude, inconsiderate, and nothing short of thoughtless. The beauty of this is that you, dear reader, won’t have to think long to recall a time it has happened to you: the grocery aisle hogger.
Yeah, you know the pinhead type. They blithely leave their cart smack dab in the middle of an aisle, thus cutting off all access to other shoppers. I’ve seen cases where they have their children in the seat and they’re two shelving units over checking out the best price on canned chick peas.
Tell me that doesn’t piss you off. If it doesn’t, then clearly you’ve never been taught any manners whatsoever. Anyone with an ounce of consideration for their surroundings knows you’re suppose to pull the cart over to one side or the other so others can freely move within the aisle, not block the aisle and brazenly display your tile-level IQ.
So yeah, it’s one of my slivers-under-the skin.
Now that I’ve bitched about it openly, and you’ve read it, you can’t say you weren’t warned if your cart is unceremoniously rammed out of the way. The more feminine name for this is cart kissing, while we guys like to think of it as a wire-frame version of demolition derby. One key rule though: No ramming when children are either in the cart or nearby. However, extra points are awarded for initiating cart contact with its separated owner. Double points if you get them to curse loudly at you or even throw something off the shelf at you.
You want to shop in peace, then keep your damn cart off to one side and we’ll all get along fine.
Oh yeah, and don’t pull your circus carnie van up on the sidewalk into the posted No Parking zone just so you don’t have to walk your lazy ass out to your car like the rest of us. I read about that on Joy Erickson’s blog a while back, and it’s kinda gnawed at me eve since.
If you don’t have the decency to be considerate of the rest of us out spending our hard earned cash, then do us all a favor and send a family member with a more well-furnished brain case than yourself.
I, and the rest of the shopping world, thank you.
